Taking Control – Self-Transformation

Life goes by and sweeps us away in the daily grind of our routines and troubles. Days turn into weeks that turn into months, then years. Work drives us crazy and we feel like we are surrounded by idiots, family drives us nuts, and parenting has us in a constant state of worrying leaving us completely exhausted. One moment you just started your new job after college or just had a newborn baby, the next you are retiring and your baby is now graduating college. With work, family and all other aspects of life, it feels impossible to find time for you. Not to mention, there is a stigma that taking time for you is selfish; which is not the case at all! If you do not take time for you, how can you be at your best for your family or job? Although, if you are taking time for yourself, is it superficially? I use to be a maniac when it came to cosmetic and superficial relaxation such as shopping, getting my hair done, mani/pedis, and waxings. I never felt completely revived or rejuvenated. I found that I was not doing anything to challenge and strengthen my mind, body or spirit. Before, working out was the only moment I would feel re-energized, but only for a short time. To be honest, I have not always been consistent in a workout routine for extended periods of times past six months (not counting the military) due to fluctuation of its importance on my top priorities list. Somehow working out always fell off the list. But no more! Self-care should always be a daily top priority. Here's why!

I am a firm believer that while it feels like there is not enough time in a day, we make time for what is truly important to us. I realized I had been complaining about how I never got to read anymore. So, this past May, I stopped the complaining and made the time to read- whether it was in my car while waiting for a short moment for any reason, a much needed short break at work, or before falling asleep. I have finally started challenging my mind again and it feels amazing! It is remarkable how just reading can jump start your mind. One of my first books I chose to read was “The Prince” written by Niccolo Machiavelli; I highly recommend it! It is about acquiring and maintaining political power; it is a very interesting read. 

From reading again, it got me thinking. Literally, millions of people like and share Facebook memes about life, positivity, hardships, love, jobs, etc. I found myself with hundreds of meme pictures I had saved in a photo album on my phone. What good are they sitting in my phone? I would revisit them ever so often as a reminder, but again what good did that do? In the past I was always a person of ACTION, I came to realize that I was lazy when it came to self-care. I was not motivated and determined like I was in my professional side of life. I became fed up that my professional life seemed to consume my personal life. I reevaluated my life- my goals and aspirations, then made a game plan to put into action.  No more was life going to pass me by. No more was I going to sit on the sidelines of my life. I am not just the lead actress starring in my life; I am the script writer and the director!  Never tolerate temporary happiness. Everyone deserves all day, everyday happiness regardless of any storm life passes over them. As a well-known quote says, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to Dance in the rain.”

What if I failed in my new direction? Fear tried to creep in, but it is a poor reason not to try. I listened to my intuition. I told myself failure should not be feared. Failure is nothing more than knowledge and a lesson on what does not work. I mean, come on, Thomas Edison didn’t create the light bulb on his first attempt. And the thought of being told no or that it is impossible, well that doesn’t scare me, it motivates me more. I only push harder to succeed. However, within the Millennial Generation, I regret saying I am a part of it, tend to feel as though they are owed something, or that everything in life should come easy. The majority of the generation expects instant gratification and immediate results. What are they teaching in school these days?! Nothing truly worth it is ever just handed to you. Wake up and smell reality! Dream it, Plan it, Do it. All you need is to believe in yourself, be determined, fearless, and pour your heart into it.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have many family members and friends around me going through rough times as well. When anyone has needed to talk or wanted advice, I have always tried to be there. However, I  also began to realize I was not practicing what I was preaching anymore. When did this happen? I had become “one of those people.” I needed my disciplined and focused mind back. Reading was just a starting point. Next, I turned to mediation. I am still reading and researching mediation and yoga. One book I have found helpful for mediation is Mediation for Beginners: 22 Day Course to Reduce Stress and Anxiety by Vern Lovic, M.A. (I downloaded from Kindle App). It encourages you to write a mediation journal along the way and is not time consuming at all. (Whether it is a meditation journal or not, I highly recommend keeping a journal for whatever you would like to write about to calm your mind). This particular book has helped me to gain my focus back and discipline my mind while demolishing my stress levels. In addition, I have coined my own “calming phrase” to instantly reduce my stress in any tough moments (overwhelmed, tired, upset, angry, frustration, so on). I end up mediating several times a day; anywhere from five seconds to an hour or more depending on the day. Even the five second meditation grounds me and brings me back from the emotion trying to consume me; all by just repeating my phrase several times. This generates and maintains the flow of positive energy. This is my biggest secret to keeping a positive mindset. 

The Mind is the most powerful organ in the body. By having a fueled, in-tune and positive mind, I have been able to roll with the punches and enjoy every moment of life regardless if it is a good or bad time period in my life- I am dancing in the storm!  Negative thinking is like cancer and only produces bad energy bringing unwanted dark clouds into our lives. A documentary film called, “What the Bleep Do We Know?” illustrates how the mind affects our bodies. It hypothesizes a spiritual connection between quantum physics and consciousness. It is quite extraordinary series; a link to their website to learn more is on the right under Ways to Success. Another way I keep a positive outlook was to eliminate toxic people out of my life. Toxic people are like anchors; they weigh you down, drown you, hinder you from moving forward with your life and stunt your overall growth. The only people that deserve to be around you are those uplifting your life!

Ultimately, what comes around goes around, so the best way to resolve a mishap is to kill it with kindness. Be the composer, musician, and conductor of your life. With self-care as a top priority and a positive mindset, the rest will fall into place. Together, both have gone a long way in influencing my life and helping evolve me into a better person than I was yesterday. 

“To Change Your Life, You Have To Change Yourself. To Change Yourself, You have to Change Your Mindset.” – Anonymous

Thank you for reading!

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